Why There Probably Won't Be a New Islamic Caliphate

Daniel Pipes uses the humor of Emo Philips to point out why Islamists are likely doomed:

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump.

I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me."

"God loves you. Do you believe in God?" He said, "Yes."

"Me, too! Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian."

"Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant."

"Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist."

"Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist."

"Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."

"Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region."

"Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879 or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."

I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.