Putin, Queen Elizabeth II and George W. Bush all go to hell. As they are ushered into Satan's office they notice a red phone sitting on his desk. Putin asks, "does that phone work?". Satan responds, "sure, you can even use it to call the living back on Earth, but its very expensive." Putin says, "well I'm worth billions", picks up the phone and calls Moscow, talking for an hour. Satan says "that will be $2 million".
Then, Queen Elizabeth uses the phone, calls London and talks for two hours. Satan says "that will be $5 million".
Finally, George W. Bush picks up the phone, calls Texas and speaks for a full five hours. Satan says "that will be 25 cents".
Putin, enraged, screams "that's unfair! How come I have to pay millions and he pays pocket change!"
Satan coolly responds, "well, since Obama was elected, America's been hell so that was a local call."