Thursday, November 17, 2011

Romney Derangement Syndrome Part II - The Search for Ann Coulter's Brain

Ann Coulter, who I usually find entertaining, posted an article yesterday which I think is a great example how some conservatives have become lobotomized by Mitt Romney.  In it, she trashes Newt and tells you to vote for Romney and not even criticize him until after the general election (I didn't realize we were in a coronation?).  Anyway, let's go through it shall we:

So now, apparently, we have to go through the cycle of the media pushing Newt Gingrich. This is going to be fantastic.

In addition to having an affair in the middle of Clinton's impeachment;

I didn't know that having an affair was an impeachable offense?  Oh wait, it's not, committing perjury is, which is what Clinton was being impeached for.  Also, in Newt's defense, he might have affairs but he does actually manage to marry his mistresses and has been married to Callista for 11 years now.  I don't seem to remember Clinton ever marrying Lewinsky or any of the other girls he was schtuping.  There is a difference between falling in love and getting married and throwing girls away like kleenex right?

 apologizing to Jesse Jackson on behalf of J.C. Watts -- one of two black Republicans then in Congress –- for having criticized "poverty pimps," and then inviting Jackson to a State of the Union address;

I'm sure the apology was just damage control.  I don't think many remember or care about this incident (or even remember when J.C. Watts was considered a rising star).  This is like some sort of longstanding inside the beltway grudge with Coulter isn't it?  Not that I don't hate Jesse Jackson.  Anyone who refers to New York as "hymie town" is a special kind of a**hole.  I'll just leave it at that.

cutting a global warming commercial with Nancy Pelosi;

I'm definitely in the global warming skeptic camp (I'm not sure the Earth is warming, and even if it is, it is probably due to solar effects, which can't be changed by us destroying our economy) so I definitely don't like that commercial.  But he doesn't actually say anything that bad in that commercial, he is pretty much just pimping green energy.  Big deal.  Even I think that would be nice (though I don't think government should be involved).

supporting George Soros' candidate Dede Scozzafava in a congressional special election;

I didn't like Scuzzy Face at all and supported Doug Hoffman, the conservative candidate.  But in the end, Newt was unfortunately correct.  Check this quote out, ""I just think it is a mistake for the conservative movement to think splitting in the special election is a smart idea, If we give that seat to the Democrats, shame on us." And that seat, which had been Republican for decades, has now fallen to the Democrats for two elections because the conservatives keep splitting the vote between the GOP and the Conservative party.  So he was correct.  Oh and once Scuzzy Face left the race officially, Newt did endorse Hoffman.

appearing in public with the Rev. Al Sharpton to promote nonspecific education reform;

Oh my god, the specter of nonspecific education reform!  I am certainly no fan of Al Sharpton, who should probably rot in hell for the blood on his hands, but you really have to do better than that.

and calling Paul Ryan's plan to save Social Security "right-wing social engineering,"

Admittedly not his finest hour, though Ann, I believe the plan only changed Medicare, Social Security was decidedly absent.  I guess the Romney lobotomy took that fact out of your head.  Anyway, Newt, unlike other politicians actually did apologize personally to Ryan for that.  I believe his thought process for that charge was just that it was too big a leap which from a tactical political point of view could be true (as it could keep you from winning elections and actually implementing that plan or any reform plan).

we found out this week that Gingrich was a recipient of Freddie Mac political money.

I'm pretty sure that every politician, while either looking for office or while in office has received political contributions from quite a few organizations, many of which we might not agree with.  But that doesn't seem to be an issue, usually.  So what's the big deal about a private citizen doing some consulting work?  There was nothing illegal, nothing improper.  How can you begrudge people making a living in the private sector?

The mainstream media keep pushing alternatives to Mitt Romney not only because they are terrified of running against him, but also because they want to keep Republicans fighting, allowing Democrats to get a four-month jump on us.

Meanwhile, everyone knows the nominee is going to be Romney. 

This argument makes no sense and is pretty unhinged.  So the mainstream media are pushing alternatives to Romney?  If they are so afraid of Romney why aren't they trying to cut him down with hit pieces?  Unlike the other candidates, he is the only top contender who has been pretty much unscathed by any sort of media scrutiny.  And it isn't that hard to find stuff.  Romney said that Romneycare was paid for, unlike Obamacare. But as one of the architects of Romneycare mentioned in a pretty colorful interview, "they're the same f*cking bill".  Basically the only reason that Romneycare was paid for was because of federal subsidies (essentially, you and me are paying for Romneycare).  Has this been brought up by the press recently?  Or at the debates by moderators?  Nope, Romney gets no scrutiny and only softball questions.  The media is completely in the tank for Romney, just as they were in the tank for McCain.  Now Newt, he will drive them bonkers.  They will go completely unhinged.

Also, not everyone knows that Romney will be the nominee.  He still can't break out of his 22-25% range, not for more than one poll.  That sounds like at least 3/4 of GOP voters still don't like him.

That's not so bad if you think the most important issues in this election are defeating Obama and repealing Obamacare.

Does anyone really believe that Obamacare is going to be repealed under Romney?  He said he is going to issue waivers to all 50 states, but that doesn't waive Obamacare, just a tiny aspect of it.  To repeal Obamacare you will have to fight tooth and nail.  Is Romney really going to do that for a bill that so closely resembles his pride and joy?  Also, having a moderate like Romney as the GOP candidate opens the door for a third party run by someone like Ron Paul, who would see a lot of conservatives offer him their protest vote, giving the election to Obama.

There may be better ways to stop Obamacare than Romney, but, unfortunately, they're not available right now. (And, by the way, where were you conservative purists when Republicans were nominating Waterboarding-Is-Torture-Jerry-Falwell-Is-an-Agent-of-Intolerance-My-Good-Friend-Teddy-Kennedy-Amnesty-for-Illegals John McCain-Feingold for president?)

Uhh, I think we were lamenting the fact that our choice was McCain or Romney or Huckabee?  There really weren't any good choices in that election, that is where we were.

Among Romney's positives is the fact that he has a demonstrated ability to trick liberals into voting for him. He was elected governor of Massachusetts -- one of the most liberal states in the union -- by appealing to Democrats, independents and suburban women. 

Didn't he implement universal healthcare?  So how were the liberals tricked exactly?  Didn't they get exactly what they want?  By voting for Romney for President, the only people that will be tricked will be conservatives.

He came close to stopping the greatest calamity to befall this nation since Pearl Harbor by nearly beating Teddy Kennedy in a Senate race.

This reminds me of the intro for Brave Sir Robin in Monty Python's Holy Grail "Sir Robin the - not - quite - so - brave - as - Sir Lancelot, who had nearly fought the Dragon of Angnor, who had nearly stood up to the vicious Chicken of Bristol, and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill!".  Also, a famous quote about horseshoes and hand grenades comes to mind.

He is not part of the Washington establishment, so he won't be caught taking money from Freddie Mac or cutting commercials with Nancy Pelosi.

True, he is a Washington outsider but unfortunately acts like a slick Washington insider.  Oh and which group other than Freddie Mac is often blamed for the housing crisis?  Oh yeah, Wall Street.  Where Romney worked for years and where he currently gets most of his donations from.  Like we won't be deluged with articles about that when he is nominated.  Also, I'm pretty sure you'll find sob stories of people who lost their jobs because of actions by Romney when at Bain. 

Also, Romney will be the first Republican presidential nominee since Ronald Reagan who can talk. Liberals are going to have to dust off their playbook from 30 years ago to figure out how to run against a Republican who isn't a tongue-tied marble-mouth.

How is this a case to nominate Romney over Newt?  I think in a head to head debate, Romney would get creamed by Newt. And everyone knows it.  Also, if he can talk so well, how come he has been so silent.  He hasn't been giving any interviews lately.

As we've known for years, his negatives are: Romneycare and Mormonism.

We look forward with cheery anticipation to an explosion of news stories on some of the stranger aspects of Mormonism. The articles have already been written, but they're not scheduled for release until the day Romney wraps up the nomination. 

I thought his negatives were Romneycare and the fact that he doesn't believe in anything.  He is a fake, the Dorian Gray of the GOP.  I really don't think people care about his religion, not outside the usual cranks anyway.

To the contrary, when his father, George Romney, was governor of Michigan, he was the most pro-civil rights elected official in the entire country, far ahead of any Democrat. 

Oh yeah, let's talk about his father.  Liberal George Romney who opposed Reagan and the war in Vietnam.  How far does the apple fall from the tree these days/

No one is worried Romney will double-cross us on repealing Obamacare. We worry that Romneycare will make it harder for him to get elected. 

I don't know, I'm pretty worried.  I'm sure a lot of people are.   Maybe the voices in Ann Coulter's head aren't.  Maybe she should stop speaking for the rest of us.

He's already explained how mandating health insurance in one particular wealthy, liberal Northeastern state is different from inflicting it on the entire country. Our Constitution establishes a federalist system that allows experimentation with different ideas in the individual states.

Oh, he explained it, that makes it all better.  Again, Massachusetts might be wealthy but they wouldn't have Romneycare without federal subsidies.

Instead of sitting on our thumbs, wishing Ronald Reagan were around, or chasing the latest mechanical rabbit flashed by the media, conservatives ought to start rallying around Romney as the only Republican who has a shot at beating Obama. We'll attack him when he's president.

We'll attack Romney when he's President?  Awesome.  Let the coronation begin!  Seriously, is Ann Coulter on meth or something?

No comments:

Post a Comment